Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine (sm) "Positive Psychology to the Rescue" January 2008

Published by Maurine D. Patten, Ed.D., CMC Founder & CEO, Patten Coaching & Consulting www.pattencoaching.com

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In This Issue: 1. Preview 2. The Key to Creating Meaningul Relationships 3. Getting into Action 4. Looking Ahead

1. Preview Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine explores how to progress rapidly from dreams to action.  It is a free monthly email newsletter written by Maurine D. Patten, life/business coach, and clinical psychologist. Using Positive Psychology, topics are presented from the perspective of Maurine Patten and are provided to help you get the results you want.  It will help you manage change, improve your Emotional Intelligence and make better decisions with less effort.  Since we are at the beginning of a new year, I want to re-focus on an area of life that has a high correlation with well-being, happiness, and longevity.  Research in Positive Psychology stresses the importance of healthy relationships, whether they are with your friends, family, spouse, or at work.  This issue is an update on the latest research in creating and sustaining meaningful relationships. Back to Index

2. The Key to Creating Meaningful Relationships The kind of relationships you have greatly affects the quality of your life.  It is important to your sense of well-being to know how to create and sustain meaningful relationships.  Wherever you find yourself, you have an opportunity to strengthen relationships and your sense of engagement with daily life.  These relationships may be in your personal life or at work.  Relationships require two kinds of energy: material (food, housing, physical care, and money). psychic (investing attention in each other's goals). Almost everyone understand the need and value of material energy.  Men, in particular, are often very good at providing material energy at home.  The problem is misunderstanding that this energy alone does not ensure lasting relationships.  In previous generations, material energy was often all that was needed to assure relationships would last.  Now, that is no longer true at home or work. Psychic energy has become the key to creating and sustaining a relationship.  Examples of psychic energy are sharing activities, ideas, emotions, dreams, and memories.  You choose whether or not to put psychic energy into your relationships.  What does this actually mean you need to do? This means that the integrity of a relationship is a matter of attention and choice.  The major source of psychic energy is flow or engagement.  This is a state of being that is chracterized by: focusing your attention which is highly motivating. using your strengths which results in feelings of happiness or heightened satisfaction. Back to Index

3. Getting into Action Once you have psychic energy (either from focused attention or using your strengths), you need to learn how to use it well to enhance relationships. This means investing attention in the other person's goals by taking time to listen and share activities, ideas, emotions, memories, and dreams. This requires an investment of time, thought, and energy on your part. To keep a healthy relationship, you have to understand: What his/her goals are. What makes him/her proud. What motivates him/her. How to support or participate in activities that are important to him/her. How to let that person know he/she is appreciated. To understand how important psychic energy is, remember when someone took the time to give psychic energy to you. What was that like for you? When you give someone increased attention and concentration, it helps you determine: What his/her goals are. What he/she is interested in now. What he/she is involved in or doing. How it is going. What he/she is trying to accomplish or has accomplished. How you can participate or support him/her. Knowing the answers to the above questions decreases stress and builds strong feelings of connection and harmony in your personal life.  In your work setting, it also can build trust.  Trusted leaders help others reach their goals as well as their own. Back to Index

4. Looking Ahead When were you in a situation where there was harmony between goals and everyone was investing attention and effort into achieving the goal?  How often do you make the time to do this in your personal life and with others at work?  I hope you can think of important relationships in your life when you answer these questions. Many times, we can help ourselves best and experience flow by helping others reach their goals.  If you want to enrich a relationship or strengthen your role as a leader, try investing psychic energy (thoughtful attention and support).  Notice the difference in a week. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi states in his book, Finding Flow, ...it is how we choose what we do, and how we approach it that will determine whether the sum of our days adds up to a formless blur, or to something resembling a work of art. Coaching helps people make choices that move them forward on their personal and career path.  Contact me, mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com, for specific ways you can maximize  your possibilities.  I look forward to hearing from you.  Happy New Year. Maurine Patten mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com Back to Index

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Contact Information Patten Coaching & Consulting Voice: 630-584-8836 Fax: 630-584-8868 Web: http://www.pattencoaching.com E-Mail: mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com (c) Copyright 2002 Patten Coaching & Consulting All rights reserved.

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Mission Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine is dedicated to inspiring and expanding your perspective in order for you to move forward in your personal and professional life. Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine is a publication of Patten Coaching & Consulting; CEO, Maurine D. Patten, Ed.D., CMC,  mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com We would like Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine to be as interactive as possible. If you have feedback, comments, topics you would like addressed, or can suggest additional resources to benefit us all, please email us at any time. Send your e-mail to ezinefeedback@pattencoaching.com. Please forward this issue to anyone you think would find Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine interesting and beneficial. Your recommendations help us keep growing, and ensure an excellent exchange of information and techniques. Archives You can read previous issues of Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine in our archives on our archives page.

About Maurine D. Patten, Ed.D., CMC Maurine Patten is a clinical psychologist and certified life/business coach. Her professional career includes: independent business owner (27 years), Assistant Professor at Chicago State University, and consultant for education and business. She is a graduate of the MentorCoach program and a member of the International Coach Federation. She is experienced in training and management development for large national and international firms. She has a strong background in working with individuals and couples on clarifying and achieving goals. Dr. Patten has training in coaching, cognitive and family therapy and health psychology. She has published articles, made presentations, and conducted workshops about: Emotional Intelligence Creating a Fulfilling Retirement Anxiety and Achievement Stress Management Setting and Achieving Goals Self-Esteem Communication Skills Marital/relationship Enrichment Wellness  Issues The Psychology of Happiness

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