Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine (sm)

"Positive Psychology to the Rescue" (sm)
October 2007

Published by Maurine D. Patten, Ed.D., CMC
Founder & CEO, Patten Coaching & Consulting
www.pattencoaching.com

Please pass this issue on to friends or coworkers. To unsubscribe or change your address, follow the easy Subscription Information at the end.

In This Issue

1. Preview

2. Do You Want to Ask Powerful Questions?

3. Getting into Action

4. Looking Ahead

1. Preview

Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine explores how to progress rapidly from dreams to action.  It is a free monthly email newsletter written by Maurine D. Patten, life/business coach and clinical psychologist.

Using Positive Psychology, topics are presented from the perspective of Maurine Patten and are provided to help you get the results you want.  It will help you manage change, improve your Emotional Intelligence and make better decisions with less effort. 

We all ask questions on a daily basis.  Some questions you direct to others and some to yourself.  If you want to get the best answer to your questions, you need to be sure you have asked the right questions.  Some words have more power than others. 

This issue focuses on how to make your questions more powerful so that you will get helpful answers. 

Back to Index

2. Do You Want to Ask Powerful Questions?

Sometimes words have a meaning to the listener that you are not aware of.  For instance, the comment, "I wish I was happier" may sound like someone wants to be happier.  However, is that the whole message?  Maybe he/she wants to be happier, but the word "wish" indicates that he/she does not really believe it is possible.  If the person believed it was possible to be happier, he/she would have said, "I need or want to be happier."

Sometimes when you ask yourself or someone else a question, the question is poorly worded and ambiguous.  Therefore, you receive faulty or incomplete information back.  Some examples of questions like that are:

  • Will I be happy?  There are ways of being happy that may go against your values.  A better way to phrase this question would be, "How can I create more happiness in my life?"
  • Should I take the new job?  The word should causes guilt.  The first step is to be clear about what your primary goal is, i.e. experience or security.  Then rephrase your question, "If _____(experience) is my primary goal, how will taking this job help me?"  Or "If _____(security) is my primary goal, how will taking this job help me?"
  • When will I retire?  A more specific variation of this question might be, "When  (or how) will I be financially secure enough to retire?"  Or "When will I be able to comfortably afford the kind of lifestyle I want?"

Back to Index


3. Getting into Action

A good question provides the information you need and satisfies three requirements:

  1. Each question must be specific and clear so that an accurate answer is possible.  Review the sample questions mentioned in the preceding paragraph.
  2. Each question needs to be simple or have only one part.  Compound questions are confusing because one part may be true and the other part false.  Usually your intuition will only answer the first part. 
  3. Each question needs to be directly relevant to the issue you want to know about.  For instance, when you really want to know if ABC Corporation stock is a good investment, instead of asking if ABC Corporation is a good company, ask if it will be a good investment over a given time period.
In her book, Change Your Questions Change Your Life (2004), Marilee Adams, Ph.D. believes you can change your future by asking the right questions.  As you go through life,  you need to choose words that are solution rather than blame or problem focused when asking yourself or others questions.  To practice, try using some of the following questions with yourself to keep you moving forward in your personal and professional life:

  • What do I want?
  • What can I learn from this?
  • What am I responsible for?
  • What is the other person thinking, feeling, needing, and wanting?
  • What is possible?
  • What are my choices?
  • What is the best thing for me to do now?
  • Is this feeling related to the current situation, or is it related to some old situation, person, or feeling?
  • What are the consequences?
  • What other information do I need?
If you slightly reword some of the above questions, they can be helpful to other people also.

Back to Index


4. Looking Ahead

It is possible to make your questions more powerful.  If change and action are what you are looking for, asking more powerful questions can alter your perception and attitude.  Try this with yourself, and see how it helps you get results.

Let me know how I can help you get better answers by asking more powerful questions.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Maurine Patten
mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com


Back to Index

Subscription Information

Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine is a free publication. If you, or someone you know, wants (to continue) to receive the Journal, click on SUBSCRIBE or go to: http://www.pattencoaching.com and click on Ezine Archives.


If you do not want to continue to receive the Journal, click on UNSUBSCRIBE or go to: http://www.pattencoaching.com and click on Ezine Archives.

Be assured your name and email address are confidential. We do not sell, rent or share our mailing list with anyone.

Contact Information

Patten Coaching & Consulting

Voice: 630-584-8936
Fax:: 630-584-8868
Web: http://www.pattencoaching.com
E-Mail: mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com
(c) Copyright 2002 Patten Coaching & Consulting
All rights reserved.

Distribution Rights

Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine (sm) is copyrighted, but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added, or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a web site. Republication of Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine (sm) in paper media is encouraged and permitted by individuals, organizations and associations, as long as the issue is reprinted in its entirety, without change, and includes the contact information.

With advance permission, we are happy to edit an issue to fit your space requirements. Republication also is encouraged under other circumstances. However, the advance permission of Patten Coaching and Consulting must be obtained in the event that changes in the text are desired.

Mission

Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine is dedicated to inspiring and expanding your perspective in order for you to move forward in your personal and professional life.

Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine is a publication of Patten Coaching & Consulting; CEO, Maurine D. Patten, Ed.D., CMC  mdpcoach@pattencoaching.com

We would like Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine to be as interactive as possible. If you have feedback, comments, topics you would like addressed, or can suggest additional resources to benefit us all, please email us at any time. Send your e-mail to ezinefeedback@pattencoaching.com.

Please forward this issue to anyone you think would find Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine interesting and beneficial. Your recommendations help us keep growing, and ensure an excellent exchange of information and techniques.

Archives

You can read previous issues of Achieving Personal Fulfillment Ezine in our archives on our archives page.

About Maurine D. Patten, Ed.D., CMC

Maurine Patten is a clinical psychologist and certified life/business coach.  Her professional career includes: independent business owner (26 years), Assistant Professor at Chicago State University and consultant for education and business. She is a graduate of the MentorCoach program and a member of the International Coach Federation. She is experienced in training and management development for large national and international firms. She has a strong background in working with individuals and couples on clarifying and achieving goals.

Dr. Patten has training in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, retirement assessment and planning, cognitive therapy and health psychology. She has published articles, made presentations, and conducted workshops about:
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Creating a Fulfilling Retirement
  • Anxiety and Achievement
  • Stress Management
  • Setting and Achieving Goals
  • Self-Esteem
  • Communication Skills
  • Marital/relationship Enrichment
  • Wellness Issues
  • The Psychology of Happiness
Back to main